Category Archives: Being Buoyant

Cheer Yourself Up With The Plague

In these days of Brexit and Trump, I have decided that it is my duty to hand out stirring advice. In fact, I’ve nominated myself as the cheerer upper of the people. It’s a role that I relish and in these coming days, I hope to erase your feelings of discontent once and for all. So without any further waffle let’s get stuck into cheering ourselves up.

plague-1

However bad you may feel, be glad that you were not alive in Tudor England when there were three main illnesses which could easily kill you. In those days, influenza was a serious killer. In fact, it travelled through the army so quickly that the generals had to call off an attempt to recapture Calais in 1557 – 1558. No flu vaccinations there then.

Carried on a flea

Another option was the plague and to be fair, with the plague there was a choice: Bubonic or pneumonic. This was caused by a type of bacteria which was carried on a flea on a rat. There was no cure for it during the Tudor reign and outbreaks occurred from time to time. In 1603, 38,000 people died in London and the plague doctors were little more than useless. Henry VIII had the best way of dealing with the plague – he got out of London as quickly as he could. It also broke out again in 1665.

plague-3

If the plague or the flu didn’t get you, you still couldn’t relax because the sweating sickness might not be far behind. This broke out in England in 1485, 1517 and 1551. Talk about living for the moment, you really needed to when this illness was about. You could be singing a ditty, having a tumble in the hay and knocking back the mead at lunchtime but be dead before you got your supper; that was how quickly it struck folks down. Although saying that, it did not always kill. It is now believed that it was a type of flu and was named Sudor Anglicus because for some strange reason only the English caught it.

black-death-doctor

If you did get ill, you had a choice of who to turn to. You could go to the apothecary who handled drugs and herbs. Much of what they handed out was experimental so it was a bit of a risk seeing them. However, if you visited a barber-surgeon you would get an amputation. Perhaps, a physician might be a better choice because they would just stick leeches on you to suck your blood.

Well, that concludes my cheering up session for today. I hope it stirred you.

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Filed under About Loony Literature, Being Buoyant, The Cheerer Upper, The Peculiar Past

When You Love Your Body You Stop Trying To Be Perfect

lady-get-boobs-done

I had a friend that was a tall, slim, beautiful looking blonde. You would think that she would be thankful for that but no, all she wanted was to get enough money together so that she could have a boob job done. Hers were small and pert and she wanted bigger ones.

This was back in the days when it was mainly television stars that had the operation and that was obviously where she got the idea from. She would joke that if she had her boobs done, she would start jogging. The point here is that if she’d loved her body, she would have stopped trying to be what the advertising and television industry told her she should be and maybe spent more time thinking about how lucky she was to have such a healthy body.

Time has passed and it is more important than ever that you should love your body. The reason for this is that we are force fed a diet of idealism about the perfect female from the media.  This can make us dislike our body because it doesn’t fit into the mould. The reason that it doesn’t is because you are a beautiful individual. Once you start to truly believe that, you will begin to care for your body more and get healthier and fitter because you know that it is what your body deserves.

When you truly love your body, you work to get it to the best that it can be so that it can serve you well. This means that you stop trying to get to the media’s idealised state of perfection because you are comfortable with what you have got. Furthermore, when you love your body you begin to realise that it needs a reasonable amount of good quality food. This means that you are no longer willing to starve it or put it through fad diets. Neither will you go bonkers and over exert it on exercise regimes that are far too rigorous and therefore tend to get thrown by the wayside after a couple of weeks.

Have a good long think about all that your body does for you and give it the respect and love that it deserves. Once you do this and truly feel it, you will laugh at the idea of a perfect body because you will be confident enough to know that it is a load of old fiddlesticks.     

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Why You May Carry Weight That You Don’t Need

whats-going-on-in-here

If you are carrying excess pounds, you could be holding onto them for a reason. Once you recognise what you are doing and why you are doing it, it is more than likely that you will have the will to get rid of the baggage that you don’t want. You also have more chance of doing this if you learn to love your body.

Let me give you an example of why someone carries excess weight. The other week, as I marched through the shopping centre of a nearby town, I noticed a teenage girl that I’ve labelled ‘Warrior Woman’. As she owned the steps at the side of Barclays Bank, my eyes snapshot the image that she flung at the world. It was indeed that of an aggressive machine.

Although she was probably only about eighteen years of age she had a vast bulk and even though it was a cold day, her thick arms were bare to demonstrate that they were covered in tattoos. Her hair was scraped back in a ponytail on top of her head like a sumo wrestler and she sat as if she was ready to spring at any moment.

I saw behind the image she was portraying to the world, this was a kid that had been dragged up in the school of hard knocks and probably worse. She carried her bulk to say to the world ‘don’t mess with me.’ This could either be to ward off unwanted sexual attention that she may have suffered from as a child or it could simply be that she wanted to look ‘hard’. Whichever it was, it was definitely a form of protection in her mind.

The problem with carrying such excess weight is that it has a catastrophic effect on people’s health. However, that is not the point of this offering of mine.  I want you to take a moment to consider this –  if you are carrying more weight than you would wish to, have you any idea why you are doing so? I’m not talking about treating your symptoms here so don’t say that it’s because you eat too much and exercise too little. I want you to get to the root of the cause so you may need to delve very deeply into your sub conscious.

There are many reasons why folks sub consciously choose to carry excess weight. A major one is to fend off sexual attention. This can either be someone that was abused as a child and sees it as a way to keep predators at bay or it can someone that has had bad experiences as an adult. Whatever the situation, as a grown up you can tell yourself that you are not willing to sacrifice your health because of people that can’t keep their hands or any other part of their person to themselves. You need to learn to love your body so much that shedding the pounds and getting healthy is your priority. When you get that positive about your body then you will have no problem telling folks that shove their unwanted advances upon you to butt out.

Another reason that people sub consciously carry excess pounds is so that they can become part of the back ground and be accepted.  At this point, anyone that suffers from excess weight will be exclaiming that they get all sorts of nasty digs about their weight and it stops them from being accepted. Again that is surface behaviour.

If we dig deeply, being overweight, often means that you are not considered competition in the work place or in the dating stakes so others let down their drawbridge because they don’t consider you as a contender.  In other words, they overlook you but accept you and may even befriend you because they don’t see you as a threat. Subconsciously, you may have realised this and found it a comfortable place to be.

However, if you learn to love your body, it will be more important to you to have a healthy one than to blend into the background. You will also find that true friends love you whatever size you are.

There are other reasons why people hold onto excess weight but I can’t cover it all here. The reason I wrote this post is to get you to think about why you might do this and also to consider if you learn to love your body, would you then stop hoarding weight.

 

 

 

 

 

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How To Succeed With Your Exercise Routine

Own up – is this you?

  • Joined a gym but only been six times and are still paying for it?
  • Spent too much on your credit card for that deluxe running machine?
  • Bought a jogging outfit that still doesn’t need washing a year later?

If any of that is even remotely like you – you’re in the right place. I’ve watched folks embark on exercise routines and fail so many times that I feel I’m not being nice if I don’t point out to succeed with your exercise routine.

Victorian exercises

Can't I get a servant to do this for me?

Can’t I get a servant to do this for me?

To get you into the swing of this and show you that you’re not the only one that has fallen into this trap, we need to look at a failure waiting to happen. During the first week of January, I was out on my daily power walk when I spotted what I thought was a pink flamingo in the distance. Getting quite excited, I got ready to take a photograph. However, on closer encounter I goggled at what it really was.

Before I knew what had happened a lady that obviously did not share her fairy buns out and would drive to the hairdressers even though it was only across the road was before me in all her glory gently bouncing along. She  cared a great deal about her appearance as she had an expensive blonde colour and cut, full makeup and brand new designer clothes on from head to foot. Being surrounded by fields and ditches, it was almost as exciting as spotting a flamingo.

The Pink Flamingo believes that dressing the part is the most important bit of her exercise routine.

The Pink Flamingo believes that dressing the part is the most important bit of her exercise routine.

Before you think that I am making judgement on my pink flamingo – I am not. She certainly gave me a lot to think about and I am simply describing what I saw. I know the heartache that excess weight causes with folks both with their health and their self-esteem. It’s something that I am deeply interested in and I want to help that is why I am writing this. As for the hair and make-up, anyone that knows me personally will vouch for the fact that I always urge everyone to make the most of their bods so that they will feel better.

The clothes, however, were one of the aspects that were causing her to fail in her quest to get fit and lose weight. It was a freezing cold day and moving at the speed that she was going meant that she would be cold and miserable. As her pink jazz pumps hit the ground, she grimaced – her feet were obviously freezing.

The sight of my boots made her shudder

As she passed me, her eyes widened as she eyed my heavy walking boots splattered with mud and my jeans that were also just as crusty. Her raised eyebrow suggested that I needed a pink makeover. However, the huge difference between us what that I was as warm a cat hiding in an airing cupboard and I adore walking in the countryside. It makes me feel fantastic. She, on the other hand, was trying to jog because she felt that she had to – it was patently obvious. Six weeks on and I haven’t seen my pink flamingo since. Perhaps she’s migrated but more likely she’s given up and made herself feel worse. I hope not.

I will enjoy myself whether I like it or not.

I will enjoy myself whether I like it or not.

  

The point that I’m making is that you should find a style of exercise that you enjoy. I would say that I am stating the obvious but I see too many people making the same mistakes over and over again. Don’t take up a form of exercise just because your friends or partner enjoys it. Only do so if you get the same excitement from it. Find out what you like – dance, swim or go rowing at the local park – but only do it if it gives you a buzz. There is a form of exercise for everyone; you simply need to find out what yours is and you will succeed with your exercise routine. When you do that, you will keep it up and naturally get fitter.

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Being Buoyant – Enrich Your Life – Love Your Body

If there is one simple step that you can take to enrich your life, it is to love your body. Before you say that you have wobbly buttocks or a rotund tum, hear me out. It may change the way you view your darling bod and once that happens other changes will also take place.

Well those cheeks aren't bad, it's the others that I'm worried about.

Well those cheeks aren’t bad, it’s the others that I’m worried about.

Over my years of people watching and listening, I have noticed folks’ weight going up and down like an elevator sniffing substances. I have seen people suffering from depression because of their bodies and then adding more weight because of the depression. You get the picture; basically, bodies can cause more misery than looking at David Cameron’s face when he is trying to look sincere. Yet other folks love keeping fit and healthy – how does this come to be?

Baby, you have buttocks to die for

It is all to do with loving your body. I don’t mean stripping off to your knickers and saying “baby, you have buttocks to die.” I mean taking a moment and thinking about what your body does for you. It works 24/7 without a rest. All right, you may sleep but your body is still keeping you alive and digesting all that fat, sugar, protein, alcohol or whatever it was that you stuffed into it. It puts up with being stuffed in a car for hours on end when it needs to be exercising and it gets sunburned too. The list is endless – think of some of your own.

Must say, I am really impressed by how much exercise my index finger is getting.

Must say, I am really impressed by how much exercise my index finger is getting.

Okay, we’ve agreed that your bod is a good friend and worker and that it’s amazing that it didn’t quit years ago. However, you may still scowl at the thought of your stomach, thighs or big toes. You have to get over this by working on your relationship with your body. This is going to sound really whacky but tell your body ‘thank you’ for everything that it does for you. You can go further and massage yourself with lotion or perfumed cream too – your body will love that.

Hey! You! Stop peeking.

Hey! You! Stop peeking.

In essence, what I’m really getting at is that until you love and respect your body, you will continue to abuse it. If you love your body, you will think before you stuff it full of junk, alcohol or drugs. You will give it the exercise that it needs and you will feel happier too. The reason for this is that when you love your body, it responds tenfold. You will feel better and you will look better too. That’s the deal – love your body and it will love you back.

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Being Buoyant – Enrich Your Life – Don’t Forget Yourself

Don't give yourself a dog's life.

Don’t give yourself a dog’s life. Enrich your life.

If you’re feeling fed up or that life isn’t great, has it occurred to you that you might be neglecting yourself? You may praise your cat, your children or your partner and go that extra mile to provide all sorts of little treats for them but when it comes to you – zilch. Now be honest about this and I don’t mean that you have just bought yourself a lovely bottle of bubble bath – I’m not talking about shopping. We need to go much deeper.

Think back to being a child – what did you love doing? Really try hard to remember. Perhaps it was being in the woods or drawing. It could be anything but dig deep into those memories. Do you still do it? I can see you shaking your head. Next, you will start explaining that you don’t have time to do that anymore; it’s just for kids; you’re not fit enough or any number of other reasons. Lots of people say they don’t know why they don’t do the things that they enjoy anymore too. Yes, I do go about asking lots of questions.

Whoopee! We're having a great time.

Whoopee! We’re having a great time.

I could list more excuses because I’ve heard more of them than there are signatures on a popular petition both from other folks and from myself also. I won’t list them because I don’t want to fuel your reasons not to do the things you love.

The point is that doing the things that you enjoy will enrich your life. There is nothing like stating the obvious but it’s amazing how when we are battling through the jungle of life, we can’t see anything for all the trees and bushes that get in our way. For trees and bushes think bills to pay and time commitments to the day job, picking up kids from school and the dreaded dusting. It’s enough to make us all collapse in a heap.

if I could just get this washing done, I could go on Facebook for half an hour.

If I could just get this washing done, I could go on Facebook for half an hour.

This is not about collapsing in a heap though; this about you questioning why you don’t do the things that you love anymore. Let me give you an example. I love walking in the countryside. I am not talking 10 mile hikes; I am talking about a reasonably paced stroll that might take in between 30 minutes to an hour. When I home educated my son, I fitted these walks in between doing my  job and educating him because I wanted him to get fresh air and exercise.

When I finished home educating him and he was no longer at home all day, I stopped doing what I love because I felt guilty about taking the time from my desk. In essence, I made myself a self-imposed prison because it did nothing whatsoever for my physical or mental state of health. Since I have given myself the gift of going for a walk every day, I feel like a different person both physically and mentally.

A muddy but glorious walk.

A muddy but glorious walk.

Basically, what I am saying to you is to give yourself a daily gift doing something that you love. If other folks like family and friends start demanding your time while you are doing it, you simply have to tell them this is your gift to yourself – enjoy.

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BEING BUOYANT – BEGIN TO BEAT THE BULGE

Being Buoyant is my stab at helping you to keep your spirits up by taking control of your life.

One of the easiest ways to begin to take control of your life is to do it with your body. Okay if you feel bloated or flabby, you may not agree with me. However, let me tell you – the cost of living may go up and you can do nothing to stop it; politicians may do things that make you want to pull your hair out or maybe theirs; your boss might make you redundant and your partner may have mood swings quicker than politicians back paddle and there is not a lot you can do to stop it. HOWEVER –

Feeling like this is no good.

Feeling like this is no good.

YOUR BODY WILL ALWAYS RESPOND TO YOU.

Your body wants to work better – that is a rule of nature. This means that if you take little steps to help it, you will feel better and look good too. The secret here is not to make grandiose threats to your personage – you are willing yourself to fail. Take tiny steps that are manageable or else you will give up.

This seems somewhat complicated.

This seems somewhat complicated.

GIVE YOURSELF THE DESIRE

Okay, first of all you have to push yourself into action. The first step is get naked in front of a full length mirror and bounce. By that I mean jump up and down. Have a good look at the result and keep that picture in your mind’s eye. This is what is going to keep you going. You should do this at least once a week so that you don’t conveniently lose what is at stake here.

If this seems like a harsh step to follow, particularly if you look more cherubic than you would wish to, you must tell yourself that this is the worst that it will get. From now on you are taking of control of your body.

And Tigger said "Bounce!"

And Tigger said “Bounce!”

TINY STEPS

The areas that folks tend to be most concerned about are their buttocks, their stomach and their chin so this is where you should start.

Buttocks

Remember, we are doing this so that it will not impinge on your life so that you can keep it up. All you have to do is clench your buttocks ten times, three times a day. So you need to work it into your daily routine. For instance, when your clean your teeth, you could be a buttock clencher then. This means that if you clean your teeth twice a day, you only have to find one other time to clench. Perhaps if you write a daily list organising your day, you could incorporate clenching and listing together.

A Victorian buttock clencher.

A Victorian buttock clencher.

If you hold your tummy muscles in for the count of ten, three times a day then you will also start to see an improvement without having to go mad. This will also help you to relax as we tend to do deep breaths when doing the grand tummy drag.

Your chin line can be improved enormously by simply lifting your chin up to the sky and feeling the pull around your neck. Do this ten times, three times a day and it will take years off your appearance.

Taking these simple steps all add up and when you keep doing them you will start to see a difference. This difference will not just be about the physical you but it will also be about the you that feels better about yourself. The reason for this is that you are doing something that puts you in control.

REMEMBER YOUR BODY WILL RESPOND

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Being Buoyant – How to keep taking daily exercise

If you start an exercise regime, whether it is simply a 15 minute walk a day or a yoga session, and find that after a short while, you give it up, you need to change the way you think about your exercise time.

Looking good.

Looking good.

Most people start exercising because:

  • It will help them to lose weight
  • It will lower their blood pressure and cholesterol
  • It will give them a sexier shape
  • Other people do it
  • It will make them fit.
  • You too can look as sexy as me.

    You too can look as sexy as me.

I think that most of us have been there and, after a while, the regular exercise has fallen by the wayside because:

  • We are too busy
  • We are exhausted
  • The weather is awful
  • We hate it and it stinks

I know about these excuses because I have used them trillions of times. However, when I changed my thoughts about my daily power walk across muddy fields in all weather, my attitude to it changed too.

Instead of doing the walk to help lift my depression and get rid of my back pain, I did it for another reason. I do it because sometimes I feel as if I have no control over my life. I may get rejections for my writing, contracts may end prematurely, editors may ask for changes, the cost of living frightens me to death as my bills go up again and I worry about all the dreadful things that go on in the world but there is not really a lot that I can do about most of it.

When all of these things snowball me, I have to make myself feel that I have some control in my life and that is where the daily power walk comes in. It is up to me whether I do it or not. It’s a simple as that. It’s all about me feeling in control of something.

When you actually tell your subconscious this, it suddenly looks different. It is not about something that you feel that you have to do because it is entirely up to you. So go for it.

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